Six Months

To My Precious, Lovable, Strong, Miraculous, Beautiful Jonathan,

On Friday, September 4, 2009, we celebrated your very first "Half-Birthday." We baked you a cake, loaded it up with sprinkles, sang you the Happy Birthday song, took your picture with the cake...and then we ate it...you watched. Luke desperately wanted me to put a small bite of frosting on your tongue, but I decided that I should give you a fighting chance at avoiding your brother's sweet tooth. He is scheduled for his first filling next Tuesday morning - I imagine he'll be changing his ways soon after that. At least I hope so - fillings are expensive. Anyway, we had a nice evening together as a family and I couldn't help but think of how far you, and we, have come in the last six months.

I discovered I was pregnant with you on the first day of school last year - today was Abigail's and Luke's first day back at school this year. It is amazing how much my life has changed in the last year - just so you know - I wouldn't change one single second of the last year. Every fearsome event that has come my way pales in comparison to the love I feel for you each time I hold you in my arms. I was trying to think of a way to summarize how deep and full the last six months have been - the poem that follows is my best shot.

In Six Months

In six months:

You can watch the earth melt from frozen ice to warm water,

you can build a new bedroom,

you can decorate a nursery,

you can finish preschool,

you can finish kindergarten,

you can finish second grade,

you can try a case and receive a verdict,

and you can find a new dream.

In six months:

You can pray ceaselessly for your unborn baby boy,

recruit your friends to pray for your precious son,

come to know that God will sustain you, no matter what happens,

give birth to you, Jonathan, on March 4th, 2009, at 2:46 p.m.,

learn that you have an extra 21st chromosome,

discover that you have a rare form of leukemia,

listen to a doctor tell me that you could die in the next few days,

authorize your chemotherapy,

pray for your recovery...everyday...all day.

In six months:

I learned that your extra chromosome is not everything I feared,

I watched a community of believers lift you up in prayer,

I experienced love and support I never expected or imagined from my family and friends,

I saw your Daddy, brother and sisters fall in love with you,

I brought you home from the hospital.

In six months:

I saw you healed by my always faithful and loving God,

I fell deeply in love with you,

I discovered that notwithstanding my prayers before you were born, despite all the pain I felt after you were born, that if given the chance, I would not change one single thing about you.

In six months:

You learned to drink from a bottle,

hold a rattle,

roll over,

smile,

sleep through the night,

giggle,

reach for and grab a toy,

hold up your head,

say "gee", "ayyy" and "i."

In six months:

Your life can change so radically, so permanently, and so beautifully that it can take your very breath away.

Be ready my Dear Son. Love your Jesus, Praise your God, and Serve your Lord with all your heart, soul and mind.

I will love you forever Jonathan.